A Christmas devotion

The baby smiles and I am born.

His tiny hand makes mine seem strong.

The longing in his eyes reflects my own.

I look with love and wonder.

And hold my heart’s desire.

The baby cries and I’m afraid.

His tears break my heart.

How can I comfort this little one,

Who means more to me than my very life?

The baby sleeps and the world’s at peace.

Not a care troubles his little brow.

I hold him tenderly and promise all my love.

What does the future hold in store for you?

How many will look to you with longing?

How many will find in you their heart’s desire?

How many still long for your smiles to fall on them?

But for now, I’m just glad to hold you in my arms.

If anything can break my heart, it’s losing you.

If anyone can mend my heart, again it is you.

And it’s you who brings me comfort,

Whose life gives me my very life.

So, sleep now and be at peace.

Troubles will come, and thorns pierce your brow.

But still I hold you tenderly and promise all my love.

(As Christmas approaches, I’ll try some reflections based on Mary)

My soul rejoices in God, my saviour.

My heart bursts with gratitude and praise.

The goodness of the Lord bubbles up inside me

And I burst into astonished laughter

That he should do this for me.

Who am I that he should even consider me?

Yet he bestows on me such honour.

When I thought of myself as nothing

He held me up for all to see as his beloved.

From this day forward, my life will be blessed

And I put behind me everything that is not true to him.

All I want is to serve his great purpose to deliver those in need.

He has done great things for me and I put myself at his disposal.

He treats me like a shining star, like his own precious child,

Surely, his mercy is everlasting, and he will pour out his goodness on all people.

All who turn to him will be lifted up, finding in him their strength and hope.

I am not daunted by the rich and powerful.

The Lord is with me and I am determined to bring justice to the poor.

He has stretched out his arm to shield me, and to enfold his children.

His righteousness has filled me with energy,

And I feel his anger at those who have ignored his command to show mercy.

They are already worthless and they will be shown up for what they are,

Cast out with the rubbish till they have learnt what it is to have nothing.

But those who call out from their poverty, those in great need,

These he lifts up gently in his arms, and tends to their wounds.

And suddenly I want to shout out that the world is not right.

I demand change, and I commit myself to be part of the change.

I am not daunted by the task, because I can see what God is already doing.

It is happening, and what is still to do is sure

Because the Lord has promised.

He will not forget us, nor ever forsake us, nor ever fail us.

I am just one of his people, and he has called us all.

Anger is forged into righteousness,

Faith sees the end and rejoices.

He showers his mercy upon us.

The arrogant and uncaring will be left with nothing,

But those who look to him will receive all they desire.

Nothing is impossible for him

And I feel his power surging through me.

He is the Lord, and I am his servant.

“Aye, that’ll do” – the sweetest words I ever heard.

Sounds like faint praise, but it’s the wink in the eye as it was said that makes all the difference.

It’s been such a struggle; I felt sure it would end in failure.

But he said I had potential, and I trusted that.

To be honest, I thought I might do a bit better,

But we have to be realistic.

I was a late starter, and a bit slow on the uptake.

Many would have thought I wasn’t worth the effort,

But he saw something in me,

Said he could see something of himself in the way I looked into the far distance,

As though, maybe, there was a new path I hadn’t taken yet, but it might bring me somewhere good.

I nearly didn’t set out – got cold feet; thought I wouldn’t be good enough,

But in the end, he put it just right:

“Good enough is good enough”.

All my life is an act,

No wonder I’m so good at it.

But I found a friend who taught me about roles,

And he helped me to see that my life is not a charade, but a magnificent performance.

Through the discipline of fulfilling my roles – and there are so many of them, and many are so difficult, and sometimes they come at me thick and fast, and others thrust them on me before I’ve even has a chance to say, “Yes”, and some of them, some of them, I’ve been playing all my life – and, where was I? Through the discipline of fulfilling my roles, I have become myself; I have acquired channels to pour out my creativity into the world; I have achieved far more than I would ever have imagined.

This friend, he has taught me so much.

In the world, so many strive for autonomy, but he speaks about surrendering yourself.

People demand, “I must be free to be myself”, but he says, “Come and serve me”.

With clenched fists they shout, “Me, me me”, but he taught me to whisper, “Not me, but me in him”.

Only in this release did I find freedom.

And so, I stride the stage with a confidence I do not have,

I stoop to bind up the wounded – though I don’t really care that much,

I leap with joy, though I am far too shy to do that.

Remember, it is all an act really,

And I’m getting pretty good at it,

So much so, that every now and then people say,

“You know, you’re really getting to be like your friend”.

And the best thing about this?

I don’t feel small to be compared to him;

I feel deep-down glad.

I want to be right!

No, you are not listening; I need to scream this in your face: I want to be in the right!

I am in the right.

I hate making mistakes.

No, you’re still not listening I must scream at you again: I hate making mistakes!

I have worked, and striven and strained, and persevered, and cried out for help

But it was still all on me, and I have tried so hard.

Others – they don’t even care!

It has really never even entered their tiny minds to even attempt to do the right thing.

All they care about is themselves, and if they knew about me they would just mock me:

What a fool for even trying!

Yet this is important to me Lord.

I see that you are in the right

And I love you for it.

And you have inspired me to emulate you.

But it is so difficult.

It is beyond me.

I pretend of course.

And if you don’t know me too well, then I can carry it off – from a distance.

But I know me only too well.

It is the gap that hurts so much.

The gap between what I want and what I manage.

Between what I love and what I do.

And that is why, in my hurt, I am screaming,

At the mirror.

If I could just stretch a little further.

My fingertips stroke the prize, but cannot grasp it.

Yet it fills my gaze – and fills my heart with delight.

But the delight is not fulfilled and so turns to pain:

So close and yet so far.

Though my heart is still full – if no longer with delight, yet still with longing.

Yet you, who can stretch out your arms further than me,

You, whose grasp is always secure, so that nothing ever slips from your fingers,

You slip your hand into mine

And usher me on to the podium to receive the prize.

As though I was the winner.

But the prize is yours.

I do not understand.

Till I realise that I am the prize

And so, I am yours.