The journey of doubt

Part 4

As I say, I have now answered these questions to my satisfaction, but I am concerned to answer them to the satisfaction of anyone concerned with truth. There has been the age-old battle between believers and atheists, but they tend to argue at cross-purposes. Believers say, “Take the leap of faith; once you have made the commitment of faith, it all makes sense”. However, atheists say, “I don’t want my faith in God to rely on faith; it must rest on something more substantial than that – on verifiable, scientifically-proven knowledge”. That, of course, cannot be given. For atheists that is a sign that faith is not justified, but believers point out that, even if you could have that certain knowledge of God, faith would no longer exist, because it would be replaced by knowledge.

So, how does faith “touch the boundary” with ultimate reality in a way that satisfies not just believers, but also those who are not currently inclined to believe? My intention (as though it was possible!) is not to prove that God exists – as though, after so many people trying and failing to do this through the ages, I will now be the one to succeed.

What I do want to do is to show that those who are finding deep fulfilment in faith are justified in doing so. That their faith does not simply make sense while they are in the pool of faith, but it also makes sense if they get out of the pool, sit on the edge of it, or go into whatever other pool of ideas and values and commitments that there are. If we can do this, we can give believers confidence that they are free to live their life of faith. They don’t have to be afraid that at the edge of their consciousness are troubling questions that they can’t answer and which threaten to suck their pool dry of meaning. Likewise, if we can find this justification, then all those who are attracted by a life of faith, but feel they can’t make this leap of commitment, can gleefully jump in and also find life in all its fullness.

The journey of doubt

Part 3

So, I am alright! I have come through the valley of the shadow of doubt, and I don’t anticipate anything being able to knock my confidence in God. In this respect, I will be OK for the rest of my life. However, as someone very keen on the philosophical search for truth, it is still very important to me to be able to justify my faith. There are two particular concerns.

Firstly, I am aware that – given the extreme difficulty of fighting through to my present position – I may not have embarked on my journey of faith if I had known at the start what I subsequently encountered as obstacles to faith. So, is it only that I began my journey in a previous faith-accepting age that I was willing to persevere, rather than abandon my faith, and all that I had invested in it? As we are no longer in an age of faith, I need to be able to present to young people today convincing reasons to embark on the journey of faith.

Secondly, it is vitally important to be able to attach my faith to solid foundations in reality. This takes us to the difference between theology and philosophy. In theology, believers are entitled to believe whatever they want, but it is up to philosophy to assess the validity of those theological truth claims. So, I am extremely happy within my circle of faith. I move freely and joyfully within my pool of faith, and everything I experience is life-enhancing. But, when I reach the edge of my pool and encounter the boundary between belief and unbelief, am I able to present my faith in such a way that it makes sense to the person outside my pool, just as much as it makes sense to me within the pool of faith? This is where our framework for understanding reality becomes so important. It is not enough for me to be happy in my faith, I must be able to show that my faith is justified in terms of ultimate, absolute reality. It has been on this point that my journey of faith has from time to time led me into deep periods of doubt.

The journey of doubt

Part 2

Therefore, what I have wanted through my life is a sense of certainty. I truly do love God, but I don’t want to be a fool and believe something that is false. In my own life, a sense of certainty is what I have now attained. I have an understanding of God and an appreciation of my faith which is, I think, now impregnable. It is like this precisely because I accept that the evidence for God’s existence is at best ambivalent, but I choose to believe in God. This gives me a degree of pleasure, to be able to sit on the edge between faith and, not simply doubt, but actually giving up faith, and choose faith. I understand the objections of atheists at least as well as they do, and I am able to agree with nearly all their objections. But at the end of the day, I can still say, “Yes, but…”. And I return to the validity of my religious experience of God, which is supremely precious to me, and – although I believe very happily in God as he is traditionally conceived to be – I can also adopt a very flexible understanding of God, faith and religion, which is, I think, immune to any attack. (Karen Armstrong has expressed this understanding extremely well).

Waterlilies

When I was at school in the 1970s, one day we had outside speakers who frightened me. I can’t remember much about it, but I think they were talking about the impending crisis of over-population, and they used an illustration of waterlilies.

Apparently, waterlilies can double in size in a single day, and if they completely choke a pond, all other life in it is killed. So, you can visit a pond and see that a quarter of it is covered by waterlilies. “Oh, what beautiful waterlilies”, you say to yourself. Next day, when you visit, you think, “Wow, those waterlilies have really grown – but never mind, half the pond is still clear”. Next day, the pond is choked and everything else is dying.

I felt helpless and frightened that the world was heading for disaster.

And those speakers were right: the world population has indeed more than doubled in my lifetime. However, the apocalyptic disaster they were predicting did not happen. If everything else had stayed the same, and population had simply doubled, the prediction of mass starvation and the breakdown of society would have been correct.

Instead, the “Green Revolution” happened, whereby we learnt how to enormously increase agricultural productivity. Billions of people have been brought out of extreme poverty and are acquiring a decent standard of living. Receiving an education has become standard for most people, including girls. Countless improvements in technology and growth of global trade have created more wealth than was dreamt possible. All round the world, women are deciding that they don’t, in fact, want the long-term world average of 6 children; 2 or 3 will be just fine. All of this has happened in the 50 years since I heard that talk, yet many people do not realise what is happening around them, and are far more pessimistic than the facts justify.

Today, many people, particularly in the younger generation, are afraid. They have imbibed an apocalyptic doomsday mentality from the false prophets of fear, who peddle a relentlessly negative narrative to frighten people into submitting to their political programme. Many are convinced that the planet is already doomed by climate change – or it can only be saved by measures so severe that it would be these measures that would create mass starvation and the breakdown of society.

We have to keep our courage. And our wisdom. We are not denying that the world has perhaps its greatest ever crisis to tackle. But if we do have such a crisis to face, it is imperative that we don’t let our actions be dictated by fear; the people shouting, “Fear and doom”, are precisely the ones to ignore.

Just as when I was a boy, the answer to the world’s problems will be found in our ingenuity and creativity. Yes, our problems are caused by our greed and ruthless exploitation, but we have the ability to solve our problems. Today’s doomsayers claim that everything is getting worse and we’re on the brink of catastrophe. In fact, on just about every measure you can take, the lot of the human race is improving. We are immensely better fed, healthier, freer, safer than we were in 1800, as the Industrial Revolution created the wealth to lift the vast majority of the world’s population from extreme poverty.

Yes, we have to take on the challenge of sustainability, but we will achieve that through further scientific and technological progress, not by dismantling society to return to the misery of poverty which was typical for us before 1800.

When I was a boy, I was wrong to be so frightened. We had the ability to change and develop and to find solutions to our problems. We really will have to all pull together and exert ourselves to the fullest extent of our capacities. But I am not afraid. We can do it.

The journey of doubt

Part 1

Like most Christians, I have gone through a faith journey that includes periods of severe doubt. There have been a couple of times when I could easily have given up. I think for me, the particular point of challenge is whether or not I can allow myself to go on believing. It is clear that I do believe; I want to believe; and I love believing in God, which is to say, I experience God as overwhelmingly real and I love him dearly. So, for me, the problem is not really that I experience the absence of God. I know this is a very real source of doubt for some people, and I have had this experience too, but it is not at the heart of my doubt. For me, the issue is whether my belief in God is justified.

This is an intellectual issue to do with the search for truth. I know that I have a belief in God, but what is this belief? I believe that my belief in God exists because God exists; he is real and I encounter him, and so I believe in him. The religious experience of God is definitely real – but what is the cause of that experience? It may well be because I am getting in touch with the living God, but I am aware that there are alternative explanations for my experience. The feelings God inspires are real, but can those feelings be inspired by my faith in God, even though God does not really exist – certainly not as he is deemed to exist as an independent personal agent.