“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”. (Part 5)

“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”.

Part 5: It’s what we choose to do with our experiences of God that counts

I think most people have some incidents in their lives that religious people classify as a religious experience. However, for many people these events are very rare, and so very out of the ordinary, that they are extremely difficult to make sense of. One person might say, “Wow! That was weird! Weird and wonderful, but what on earth was it?”. They frankly have no idea, because it is completely unlike anything else they have experienced. They may therefore simply “park” the idea in a corner of their mind, as a strange, wonderful, inexplicable experience, and get on with their lives. It could be many years until they have another experience that they would class as being in the same category. They make the connection, but no pattern is emerging and so they think, “There’s another one of those strange experiences”. So they remain agnostic about them, and are fundamentally unmoved in the course of their life by them.

Another person has a similar experience, but they may be committed to atheism. Therefore, they dismiss the possibility that this could be anything to do with God and give themselves an alternative explanation. Perhaps they may tell friends that they were out walking, feeling great at the start of their holiday, when they came to the top of a hill and saw a wonderful sunset which gave them the most extravagant feeling of elation that they’ve ever had. It’s a treasured moment, but not one that they have to do anything about.

A third person has a similar experience. Perhaps they have previously heard about God, and perhaps inclined favourably towards the idea of his existence and now they put two and two together and realise that this is an encounter with God, just as they had been told could happen. Or perhaps it comes out of the blue, and the person just intuitively knows – sorry, makes the internal judgement – that this must be what it means to encounter God. So, in that respect, it becomes a conversion experience.

The interesting thing about these three people is that they are having identical experiences, but the effect on their lives is entirely dependent on the personal value judgement that they make about the worth of the experience. Now the worth of the experience does depend on the status given to the experience – the way it is understood. The first person classified it as “unknown” the second as “a lovely, natural experience”, the third as “a meeting with God”. However, this judgement about how the experience is understood has a judgement about its worth integrated into it.

See how none of the individual’s judgements can be classified as justified by proven facts. The “facts” such as they are (strictly speaking there are no facts because internal feelings cannot be verified by observers) are things like feelings of elation or meaning or love, which the individual knows to be true within themselves, even though they are not verifiable. The essential part of the process is what the individual chooses to do with these feelings.

“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”. (Part 4)

“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”.

Part 4: Our framework of understanding is important, but it’ the vibrant, dynamic encounter with God that counts

We have considered the framework of understanding in which the statement, “Lord, you are Lord, and I want to live with you” might be held, so that it is intellectually justified, rather than simply a product of blind faith or wishful thinking. However, this is not the vibrant core of the issue. We have backtracked to check that our value judgements are not foolish, based on emotional fancy rather than reality. However, the statement is being presented as the heart and foundation of faith: the realisation of who God is, and the need to make a response. In a way, the response is automatic, like in the laws of physics, in that, once we truly appreciate that the Lord is Lord, we cannot but help to be attracted to him. However, it is still an act of freewill. We see this in the way so many people do not respond to God. Now, it is difficult to judge this in that we may wish to argue that anyone who truly did encounter God would certainly give their lives to him, so if you have not done that it must mean that you haven’t really encountered God. However, this seems in practice not to fit the evidence, and in principle I think God would not take away our choice to respond to him, for if we had no choice then clearly we have not made a choice. I think the answer lies for most people in their willingness to respond to God – or not. I accept that for some people their lives in practice have not afforded them the opportunity to encounter God, and so they have not been faced with the choice we are about to consider. Perhaps their lives are so unrelievedly awful that it proves impossible for them to hear a call from God. Perhaps the internal make up of some people makes it difficult for them to perceive a spiritual call. However, let’s consider what is a common situation.

“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”. (Part 3)

“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”.

Part 3: Our personal value judgements cut through the restraints of uncertainty to restore our freedom and our ability to act

I find this to be a very liberating judgement. I am free from all arguments about facts, about proof, about certainty, and about knowledge. However, rather than what is left – namely personal judgements – being subjective, uncertain, unproven, merely opinions, we instead argue that these are the most important things about being human. Facts are just facts; they mean nothing until we decide to do something about them, but personal value judgements are, by definition, the essence of action.

We can support our choices with a consideration of the difference between truth, facts and knowledge. Somethings are true, and we know them to be true, and, because we have knowledge that they are true, they become facts. However, other things are definitely true, but we don’t know that yet, because we haven’t been able to prove them, and in some cases we never will. This means that those truths will never be known, and so never enter the realm of facts. However, that doesn’t stop them being true. So it is with our personal value judgements. It is entirely possible, maybe even extremely likely, that we will never know if we made the right decision in making the value judgements that we have. However, that does not mean that we were wrong to do so; we might well be right – we just don’t know. And, that is precisely what makes our judgements important: we decided by faith and not by knowledge. In relation to God, if it could be proved that beliefs about God are true, then anyone who did not follow God’s way would be foolish, and faith would lose its dynamic energy precisely because it had become a sensible and self-interested opting for the winning side, rather than a commitment of faith in very ambivalent circumstances, that we choose to commit to God’s way, simply believing and hoping that it is true.

“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”. (Part 2)

“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”.

Part 2: Our value judgement expresses the truth, not just about God, but also about ourselves, as we use our freedom to declare where we stand

However, the statement of faith, “Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you” is a simple, basic value judgement about the worthiness of God and a personal commitment in response. As such, they are self-standing or self-authenticating in that they need no external support. Each person is entitled to value whatever they value and to give their commitment to whatever they want. This is part of what human freedom means. Of course, we may argue that nothing can be entirely self-standing, in that we must give some reasons as to why we value as we do, or why we are prepared to commit ourselves in this way. If someone said that they valued what everyone else is appalled by, we would question as to why on earth anyone would do that. However, working within the realm of personal value judgements, where there are no verifiable facts to contradict our choice, and plausible justified reasoning to support our view that something is of precious value, in this respect, we are free to make such a choice. We are making a declaration: “In my view, what I have found in the Lord is of supreme value, and I can think of nothing better to do with my life than to follow his way, and try to live in tune with his nature and will”. As such, this is a stand that we are justified in making, even though the whole world were against us.

Thus, I believe we have found a sure foundation in life, in that we are allowed and free to make our own judgements about what is most precious in life. We are not insisting that everyone has to agree with us, or that anyone who judges differently has made a mistake – though we may well feel convinced that others would benefit from discovering the same truths as we have. Nevertheless, this is our prerogative, to make our own decisions about what is ultimately precious. I consider that this is where the philosophical difficulties of proving what is true lead us. The only things that can be known for sure are verifiable facts, but value judgements are not susceptible to verification, and so we can never be sure that our decisions are true, in the sense that we know that this is the best choice we could make. However, we can then turn this around and say that this is precisely what makes our value judgements so important: it is not possible to prove that we are right – though neither is it possible for anyone to show that we are wrong – but we can make our stand: “For me, this is what I hold most precious!”. And, as argued earlier, this personal judgement is within the remit of each person, and is of the very essence of being human.

“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”. Part 1

(A theological reflection in 8 parts)

“Lord, you are Lord and I want to live with you”.

Part 1: The foundation of faith is a recognition of worth and a personal commitment

This is the foundation of faith. I am tempted to say that the foundation is simply, “You are Lord”, but I think a response statement is required, though I am unsure as to what the best statement of response is. “And I want to serve you” would be perfectly acceptable, and is better in terms of being more specific: that the recognition that the Lord is Lord calls us to commit to a particular way of life, which is completely orientated towards doing those things that conform to God’s will, gladly taking on the role of service, rather than self-interest. “And I want to live with you” might sound in comparison to be rather vague – as though you intend to just “move in” with God as some sort of hanger-on, but without any profound commitment. However, these words imply the complete commitment to service for it would be impossible to “live with God” without doing that wholeheartedly, and allowing the reality of living in God’s presence to transform you utterly. In this respect, the commitment to live with God is also a fully comprehensive one, implying a giving of your whole life to God, and including the truthful subtext that it is by being open to God’s presence that we obtain life in all its fullness – that is, to truly “live”.

I call this statement the foundation of faith because, if we have this, we don’t need anything else, for everything else about the spiritual life is contained within it. I like it because it contains 2 elements: the recognition of the truth about God, and a personal response. I think that this is a good place to start the spiritual life. Many people start from the issue of whether or not God truly exists, and incorporate fundamental beliefs about God as creator, or judge, or giver of eternal life. All these things are problematic, at least for some people, because of the impossibility of proving them, and the need to correlate these claims with other things that we know to be true about existence.

The foundations of faith (14)

We need to address 2 obstacles. Part 3: What do I expect God to do for me in the material world?

I do pray to God to keep my family safe; that Putin’s regime might come crumbling down; that humanity will find the unity, wisdom and strength to overcome climate change; that my ill relative might get well. I pray in faith and hope, and I open my heart to God. And I think that God might act to help. However, in practice, in the usual course of events, I do NOT expect God to miraculously intervene to change what would have happened anyway. I sincerely hope – and fully expect – that some good will come from my prayer – but that will usually be through the effect of my prayer on human agency – that my prayer will prompt me to get off my backside and do something, or others hearing – or sharing in – my prayer will be corporately moved to act.

I do NOT judge that it is impossible for God to change things in the world; I do not demean those who pray fervently that he will, but in accordance with my agnosticism about the full, certain reality of God, I have to accept that I have no knowledge that God will act – and, being honest about the evidence – I  cannot point to examples that give me an expectation that he will act. But in trust and faith I ask him – in case he will act, and I pray to express my true feelings to him, and to recommit myself to his mission. Everything else in prayer is about encouraging myself and others in the life of faith.

The end!

The foundations of faith (13)

We need to address 2 obstacles. Part 2: What can I expect God to do for me?

I think it’s helpful to remember there are not “special” religious emotions: “religious love”, “religious joy”; there are “ordinary” emotions – love, joy, peace etc that are prompted by God’s presence rather than the secular world. So, don’t be fooled into thinking that unless you have some special or supernatural experience that you haven’t met with God. A lot of the life of faith is about our willingness to look at the world in a certain way – hence my idea that faith is more of a verb and a choice rather than a noun.

So, two people observe a beautiful sunset. One says, “What a beautiful sunset”; the other says, “What a beautiful sunset; isn’t God wonderful”. It’s not that they are simply attributing the sunset to God as the creator, when really it’s caused by the laws of science, but that the beauty of the sunset has pointed the religious person beyond even the beauty of the sunset to perceive “behind” or “within” the sunset a sense of even greater beauty in their sense of the presence of God. God “speaks to them” through the sunset.

Now, what makes the religious person willing to do that? While the secular person is not willing to do it?

I don’t think that atheists refuse to see God even though they do feel God’s presence really. Instead, it’s as though the idea does not occur to them, perhaps because they have ruled it out as impossible. They love the sunset too, but while the religious person feels it’s obvious that God is calling to them, the atheist will not go beyond what the material world presents to them. I’m not denying that the atheist is profoundly moved by the beauty of the sunset, but they see no need to go any further in their response, while to the religious person it is obvious that the sunset is a window into a deeper reality, which we call God. So, somehow, and I am still unsure quite how or why, experiencing God’s presence is connected to a willingness to be open to him.

If anyone still feels unmoved by what I’m saying about religious experiences, all I can say is:-

  • What a noble heart you have to still be intrigued by and drawn to a life of faith when all that you give is – in your experience – hardly ever acknowledged by and reciprocated by the God of love – when numbskulls like me only have to look at the sky and God is reaching out in love.
  • Do what is right, and love mercy and justice and goodness. For whatever reason, God seems absent to you, but by your actions you demonstrate (at least to those who know you) that God is all around you and his love flowing strongly from you.
  • Keep your heart and mind open to the possibility that God might draw near in palpable ways – he IS near, but maybe from time to time that will become tangible to you.

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We need to address 2 obstacles. Part 1: What if I just don’t feel God?

  1. “I have done my utmost to open my heart and mind to God but I just don’t experience his presence; all I get is absence and emptiness”.

2. What do we expect God to do for us in the material world?

How might we begin to respond?

To the person who just doesn’t feel God’s presence, I don’t really know what to say! Wait – but that sounds unfair to a person who has been waiting for years. Try again – but they may feel they have tried everything. Are you doing anything “wrong”? – I don’t mean that as a criticism, but perhaps you have expectations of what meeting with God will be like that get in the way? Are there obstacles in your life that are proving a block to God? Are there personality types that just find it hard? I think this is very likely. In which case, what can they do?

All I can suggest is this:

Do you want to live a life of faith because you believe in the value of it? Then stop trying to force some sort of religious experience and commit yourself to your faith. You will meet with God as and when you need to. Remember, throughout our thinking here we have focussed on our end of the experience of meeting with God and maintained a healthy agnosticism about saying for certain what God may or may not be like.

Perhaps a helpful image is C.S. Lewis’s Christ figure, the lion Aslan. This is the God who just visits us now and then, and though this is completely wrong theologically, for God is always present, it can be quite true to our experience. Jesus himself told his disciples that they will meet him along the way; in other words get on with living out the reality of the resurrection, and when you need particular strength and guidance, then God will appear to supply our needs.

Sometimes I wonder if God has “blessed” me with lots of religious experiences because I’m so needy – I need regular emotional highs to keep me going. If I was a person of stronger character and will power, perhaps I could say to myself, “Denis, you believe and trust in God; you are convinced he has called you to walk his way, then get on with it. What’s required is well within your capabilities. I know you feel like God’s a long way away at the moment, but you know that’s not true, so keep believing he’s with you until you feel his strength and guidance again”. Now that really would be living by faith! And perhaps that’s what the person who doesn’t feel God’s presence is called to do: just live by faith.

In the age of the internet, we expect a reply to our texts or emails immediately, but perhaps in practice messages from God are more like in the age of sailing ships. A reply will arrive in a few weeks or months.

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Love is personal. Part 2: Love is received from God and passed on; it is not generated by me

When we encounter God, it is not enough to say we encounter the value or principle of love. What we encounter is a person who is loving us. This is totally different to simply believing in love. That puts all the onus on me to make a commitment: that I am going to put love as the governing principle in my life; I am taking charge and being the active agent in doing loving things; that it is up to me to use my inspiration by the principle of love to do some loving.

Instead, what I experience is that I am the recipient of love and I respond to the love I have received. I don’t generate love within myself through the power of my commitment to my principles; I am empowered by and filled with the love of God that then overflows in love towards others. We are channels of God’s love – and that’s supremely more than we can manage by “trying hard” to love others.

We thought about religious experiences, of what is happening when we encounter God, and, in seeking a common denominator for the experience that I think all the major world religions would accept, the term, “encountering the transcendent” is a valuable one. God is “other” in that he is not at all like me or anything else in all creation. He is beyond everything else. Many things might express something of his nature and point us towards him, but nothing, no matter how beautiful or lovely in itself encompasses the fullness of who God is; they always point beyond to “something more” – and that is who God is – the something extra that is always beyond our grasp – though still filling us.

For our thinking now, I want to stress that, for me, and for Christians generally through the ages, the experience of the transcendent is a personal experience. We do not experience love; we experience someone loving us. Now, when we experience “being loved” – that is a passive verb – though it may well be an exhilarating experience, so it requires someone to be the active partner, doing the loving. So, my experience of God is not something I do. I am not the creator of this love. I am not the active person responsible for generating this love. Love is something I receive from someone who is loving me.

I said earlier that ultimately I do not know who or what God is, but whatever is the cause of my experience of God is the core of life and is ultimately precious. In the same way, I cannot point with certainty and say, “Look there is the person loving me”, but what I can say is that the experience of “being loved” is a personal experience of “someone” loving me. I came across a lovely way to describe an encounter with God: “I met with a mysterious stranger, I know no whom, but he loves me”. I think that that is my definition of God, and for shorthand I just use the word “God”.

Many atheists are such because they cannot bring themselves to believe in God because they cannot be certain that he exists in the way they can be certain that their mother or child or their best friend exists. Well, surely what all of us have learnt is that God is just not like that. I cannot be certain that God exists, or what he is like, because God is not a person like you or me. But what I have discovered is that whoever God ultimately is in his inmost being, that only he fully understands, my experience of God is of a person, a person who loves me.

For me this is very important. It is not enough for me to believe in wonderful values like love and justice. I believe in a person who is love and justice, and in relationship with him, I receive, reflect back into the world, and an empowered to be a person of love and justice.

The foundations of faith (10)

Love is personal. Part 1: Love is more than a value; it’s a personal relationship

One objection an atheist might make to me is: “We can see that your faith in God gives you wonderful values. Because you believe in God, you believe in the supreme importance of love, compassion, forgiveness, gentleness, peace etc. Why don’t you just believe in these values? Forget this nonsense about God who is a person of love, and just believe in love?”

It sounds superficially plausible. A person of good character and strong principle could (and many do) build a profoundly good life through the quality of their principles and values. A person might think that they “see through” religion and argue that this is the whole point of religion – that belief in God is just a mechanism to get us humans to act in loving ways. However, there are problems with this avenue.

As I get older, I become more aware of what a fundamentally selfish person I am. I have been saved from the full consequences of this because of the great truth I have discovered, along with countless others: I love because he first loved me. Love is a principle and a value, but that does not do it full justice. Love is an action, and love is personal. I can imagine the wonderful principle of love sitting on a splendid pedestal, and all of us who want to live in love gazing at some symbol of love and being truly inspired by it. And out of that inspiration would come some acts of kindness. But I consider, for me at least, it would not be enough. It would not do justice to my experience of God. It would not express the true fullness of what love is. The “principle” of love would not have enough power to move me sufficiently to live my life better. When we say, “God is love” some people want to say, “Ah, what you mean is that “Love is God” – that is, “Love is your ultimate value”. Why don’t you just switch and say, “I believe in love”?” Because that is nowhere near saying the same thing as “God is love”.