Sin, grace and freedom : Romans 7 and 8
Part 2: Who is in charge of me – I don’t think it’s me?
Paul’s answer was insightful, but I’m not sure that I will support it. He decided that, as he did what he truly didn’t want to do, then, in an important way, it wasn’t him responsible for the action, and he instead saw it as the action of sin within him. This needs unpacking, but initially I will see this as Paul considering that sin is a power that has taken control of him, and to which he is subject. Therefore, it is not him who has gone astray, it is the power of sin within him which has made the wrong decision. I don’t really like this idea because I think simple honesty requires us to own up and take responsibility: “Yes, it was me who failed”. Perhaps, when we have investigated Paul’s theology a little more, we will be able to bridge the gap, but this is my starting point.
Where I would begin is with the paradox: “No, I really didn’t want to do this action”, but neither is it true to say that, “I really didn’t want to do this. I hate it”. The fact is that we really did want to do it – that’s why we did it, and so, we don’t actually hate the action – we love it – but we also disapprove of it. This understanding accurately reflects the idea of having a divided mind. The action is a contradiction of our principles but accurately reflects our core drives, both conscious and unconscious, or it correctly expresses part of our essential personality – even though we may wish we were different.
I begin with trying to take responsibility for my own actions, being honest with myself, not trying to fool myself, or others, or wriggling out of responsibility by claiming, “It wasn’t really me”. It was. But where is Paul coming from? I think that his theology is making an extremely serious point, so that – although we may think differently, or at least express ourselves differently – it is not the case that Paul is trying to wriggle out of taking responsibility. If anything, his accusation against himself is even more serious than my accusation against myself. In my understanding, I am acknowledging that I do not have complete control or direction even of my own mind. I accept that my sins are down to my choices, though I see those choices as a failure of my will-power. I knew what I “really” wanted, but I didn’t have the strength to stick to that when confronted with the temptation to do what I “really did want” – or at least what a part of my own mind really did want. The seriousness of Paul’s complaint against himself is that he has been, as it were, “taken over by a foreign power”. He appears to see sin, not as a poor, or mistaken or destructive choice that he has made, but as a power that has taken possession of him. This is an appalling situation to be in, and Paul is making astounding admissions in seeing things as he does.
Spiritual Devotion 