On forgiveness. (Part 8)

On forgiveness

Part 8: Forgiveness is a freely-given generous gift; it is not self-seeking

I am still a little troubled by the motivation of us “forgiving in order to be forgiven”. It must be a good thing to do this, but it sounds substandard, in that our focus could be completely on ourselves, rather than desiring for the other person the gracious freedom that God bestows on us in his forgiveness of us. In comparison, any forgiveness of ours which in effect says, “I can’t stand that person, but I want to be in God’s good books so I suppose I will have to let them off”, sounds selfish. Jesus, of course, seems to say very strongly that we must “forgive others their trespasses in order to be forgiven of our own”. But is this what Jesus means? The words are, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”. There does seem to be a strong element of contract: if we want to be forgiven then we have to forgive others. I think it can become less selfish if we shift our motivation and our understanding of what is going on. If the essence of forgiveness is restoring our relationship with God, then our aim is to live displaying the same grace that God has shown to us. If we judge soundly, we can see that the debt that God has written off in our account is greater than the debt we are asked to write off in relation to those who have harmed us. Forgiving others then is not a reluctant release from judgement by us in order to get the gift that we really want – God’s forgiveness of us. Rather it is a joyful expression of thanksgiving in that we are so conscious of having been released from the oppression of our own sins that we “cannot help” but let our joy overflow into releasing others from the condemnation that we may rightly feel that their harm done to us deserves. Our forgiveness then is not a contractual thing at all, but a natural expression of the freedom that God’s grace has poured into our lives, and which we now gladly share with others. It would simply not be right for us to be mean-spirited in our lack of forgiveness to others, when God has been so generous in forgiving us. This seems to be the clear message of a parable that Jesus told, where the person in the story representing God is outraged that someone forgiven so much refuses to forgive a trifling amount. It is as though the forgiveness received has “failed” in that it has failed to elicit a generous spirit towards others.

I’m aware that some people have suffered from enormous harm at other peoples’ hands, and they may well feel that their own sins – which do need God’s forgiveness – are nevertheless slight in relation to what they are asked to forgive in relation to other people. In such cases, I think we are called to be like God – an extraordinary ask to think that those who have suffered terrible injustice should even consider being generous in the way they forgive others. Extraordinary again, is the fact that some people do manage to achieve this level of grace. It is as though the harm done to them can generate an understanding that others may also be suffering, and to release them from a burden by forgiving them is the right – and amazingly graceful – thing to do. We note that this would only be applicable to those who are seeking forgiveness through their repentance; we are not saying that those who have suffered grievously have any responsibility to release the guilty party who caused such harm through forgiving them until there was overwhelming evidence of their change of heart.