Addressing the issue of self-hatred in Christianity. Part 2

Addressing the issue of self-hatred in Christianity

Part 2: Turning to God always produces goodness

I do not deny for a moment that this completely positive message can be distorted, either by official bodies in the Church or through the personal woundedness of individuals who twist the doctrines about sin into a form of self-harm. However, this in itself is simply a reminder of our need to be saved by God, for anything, no matter how intrinsically good in itself, can be corrupted into something evil. But, likewise, anything, no matter how corrupted can be redeemed through the love of God.

So, this is a sound general theological defence of why Christianity needs to delve into the dark depths of the human heart in order to lift up the soul into the light of God’s healing grace. But why the particular devotional language that I use?

Firstly, I am never conscious while I’m writing of negative thoughts; my focus is always on the transformation from sorrow to joy, or helplessness to hope. It is only that I’m writing more and reflecting on it that I notice words like “all that I detest about myself”. In relation to the world in general, I think I’m a rather nice person and do not suffer from low self-esteem. However, a sharp analysis would ask, “Why do you feel the need to move from sorrow and helplessness?”. Surely, “a rather nice person” should not be feeling these things, and so we accuse you of having been dragged down by your faith. However, when making prayers like this, I am always conscious of being lifted up by my faith. It is the transforming joy and hope that I’m celebrating. And, moreover, this transformation is all the more liberating and wonderful because of my consciousness of being lifted high from such a low position. This does leave open a psychological critique that it is the purpose of religion to bring people down in order for them to feel that they require the liberation that the religion offers. However, I refer back to the general theological foundation for Christianity, that it is simply realistic to take on board the reality of evil and suffering in the world, and it’s supremely hopeful to believe that it’s possible to take this on and do something positive through the belief in turning the world into the kingdom of God. It is down-playing or ignoring the reality of such suffering that is negative and cruel. It is the faithful community which attempts to contemplate the horror of a loving God who fully comprehends our suffering.