My heart is sad till I find a promise I can keep

My heart is sad till I find a promise I can keep

My heart is sad, weeping slow drops of regret into a pool of sorrow.

Eaten away, the hollowness and rot expose the decay at my very roots.

I am destroying myself, sinking into despair,

Desperately reaching for a firm edge to hold onto.

I grasp a promise as my salvation,

But it splinters as I put pressure on it, and I sink deeper into the mud.

If only I could find a firm promise I could keep,

Then I could anchor myself to solid ground,

While I catch my breath, or call for help,

Or look round for some way out of this mess.

I must carve a promise I can keep out of the debris of my life,

And wield it with all my strength.

If I can do just one thing – find just one way to be true to myself,

Then there is hope.

I will put you first, and do whatever it takes to stick to that.

And perhaps, in time, I will find that my foot strikes a rock on which to stand,

Or a branch that will not give way is suddenly within my reach,

Or simply find that my one promise has become a staff with which to navigate the mire,

And leads to new promises out of which to construct a home in which I can be at peace –

Happy, and undivided in heart.

Reliable and steadfast, I keep my word, and find joy in that.

No longer torn in two, I will rest in you, and walk with you.

Wherever you go, I will follow, and not fear the path, nor the obstacles on it.

I make my stand, against all trials and temptations.

No longer helpless, because there is at least this one promise I can keep,

And this will be enough to make me whole.

This I must do, for otherwise misery will engulf me.

Make a promise I can keep and keep it.

So, I promise.