The journey of doubt
Part 1
Like most Christians, I have gone through a faith journey that includes periods of severe doubt. There have been a couple of times when I could easily have given up. I think for me, the particular point of challenge is whether or not I can allow myself to go on believing. It is clear that I do believe; I want to believe; and I love believing in God, which is to say, I experience God as overwhelmingly real and I love him dearly. So, for me, the problem is not really that I experience the absence of God. I know this is a very real source of doubt for some people, and I have had this experience too, but it is not at the heart of my doubt. For me, the issue is whether my belief in God is justified.
This is an intellectual issue to do with the search for truth. I know that I have a belief in God, but what is this belief? I believe that my belief in God exists because God exists; he is real and I encounter him, and so I believe in him. The religious experience of God is definitely real – but what is the cause of that experience? It may well be because I am getting in touch with the living God, but I am aware that there are alternative explanations for my experience. The feelings God inspires are real, but can those feelings be inspired by my faith in God, even though God does not really exist – certainly not as he is deemed to exist as an independent personal agent.
Spiritual Devotion 